I don't see the game as punishing me. Even failing isn't returning to zero; I've gained knowledge, so there's a net positive.
A good example: we just reset our multiplayer server, since we removed a few world gen mods after the new world gen changes. Had a pretty good home base built up with a plentiful garden set up by early summer. Unfortunately, there were two large peat deposits nearby. The first thunderstorm ignited both, in the middle of high rift activity. While we focused on putting the first fire out, the second burned out half of our garden. In the midst of dealing with the fire, surface mobs were taking potshots at us, leaving us scrambling.
Next time I build near a peat deposit, I'm either clearing out the peat early and storing it underground, or using a packed dirt fire break around the garden and other flammables. Lesson learned: sometimes the thunderstorms hit before we can get a lightning rod built, so prepare accordingly.
I see VS as a unique universe with its own set of rules. It's not punishing; it just is. I learn those rules, how they interact, celebrate the wins and roll with the losses.