if it was only on start up I could live with it but the alt-tabbing sending the game to the default monitor is annoying.
the workaround I found was to switch to maximum borderless, which got the game to behave properly but the task bar was always on the screen. however when I switched back to fullscreen the game stayed on the same monitor now when alt-tabbing, but game does disappear until I switch back to it.
maybe one day the dev will be so bored they ignore all the priority tasks for improving the game and code a setting to launch the game from a different monitor and not have it disappear when trying to do discord stuff at the same time as playing. seems unlikely so I will mark this post as solved and continue enjoying the game the way it is now.
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