What's Your Humorous Story?

[LadyWYT]

44 minutes ago, Echo Weaver said:

I would totally buy the pickaxe from another trader to fulfill the quest and still consider it funny, just because of the implication that this is a test of your tech level before you can advance. One thing we do not lack after searching so long for the Treasure Hunter is rusty gears.

I'd say it's less a test of your tech level and more a test of creative thinking. If you can figure out how to acquire a tin bronze pick before actually acquiring bronze gear, you'll probably do okay in the Archive despite being undergeared.

[Echo Weaver]

37 minutes ago, LadyWYT said:

I'd say it's less a test of your tech level and more a test of creative thinking. If you can figure out how to acquire a tin bronze pick before actually acquiring bronze gear, you'll probably do okay in the Archive despite being undergeared.

Well, I won't have that problem because we're about to start making steel. 

[LadyWYT]

So About Them Wolves...

There I was, minding my own business in a fresh new world in the latest release candidate, just wanting to continue testing all the new goodies. Fairly standard world, on standard difficulty, with just the player land claiming and auction house turned off, and the world map colors turned on. I spawn in, knap out a granite knife blade real quick since I'm lazy, then venture into the forest outskirts nearby in search of a stick. Since I was still feeling lazy, I just grabbed one off a nearby maple tree, and was in the process of trying to attach it to the knife blade when I heard it...that telltale growl...

My friends, it was a wolf! I didn't have time to finish making my knife before getting chomped. I just exited the grid and made a run for it! Once reaching the grassland, I turned around briefly to see if the wolf was still behind me, and it was. So punched it...and punched it...and kept running around in a circle beating it with my stick until it started running from ME.

Well, I am happy to report that it did not escape. So I guess I can say that I've legit beat a wolf to death with my bare hands(or close enough to it) in this game. Yay?

[Vratislav]

22 hours ago, LadyWYT said:

I'd say it's less a test of your tech level and more a test of creative thinking.

Also, obtaining eight or how many gears to actually buy the pickaxe may be challenging enough in early game if your are not lucky to hit the proper ruin.

[LadyWYT]

1 hour ago, Vratislav said:

Also, obtaining eight or how many gears to actually buy the pickaxe may be challenging enough in early game if your are not lucky to hit the proper ruin.

You don't need ruins if you peak inside enough cliffs and overhangs.  Depending on which traders you have nearby, you may also be able to sell some basic cooked meat for a gear or two as well.

[Maelstrom]

12 hours ago, LadyWYT said:

So About Them Wolves...

Well, I am happy to report that it did not escape. So I guess I can say that I've legit beat a wolf to death with my bare hands(or close enough to it) in this game. Yay?

And there goes all the complaints about wolves spawn camping at 10:00 am, May 1, year 0.  

[LadyWYT]

4 minutes ago, Maelstrom said:

And there goes all the complaints about wolves spawn camping at 10:00 am, May 1, year 0.  

In all fairness, I'm pretty sure the only reason I survived, aside from very fast reflexes, was that extra bit of health inherent to Blackguards. Any other class, and I would have been toast.

[OBAMFSpike]

Tonight would be my first truly frustrating death. 

Let me explain.

Im a noob, as it were, but I'm not a green wet behind the ears noob. I comprehend many of the mechanics of the game and comprehend a lot about building and animal husbandry and all that jazz. 

Well ive been digging deep using the Prospecting pick (excellent addition in this game I might add) and I happened upon some Casserite. Well underneath it was my first cave system  that ive dug into and discovered without first finding its opening on the surface. Of course the cave was deep and I found it shortly after leaving Peridotite and entering Andorite. Ive learned to use dirt to fill stairwells methodically behind me to keep drifters from surprising me from the rear. 

Well, I cleared out the vein of Tin and started to explore the cave when BAMMMM! Hello Nightmare Drifter. Dead. One shot. And now I'm running a thousand blocks back to my mine shaft in the dead of night and unannounced to me I will go blind when traversing the adits below because of my handy dirt method blocking my six when I'm digging. I came upon where all my gear was lying in wait and the grace light when death steals our goods vanished into blackness, 

Well crap the bed. Spend a few minutes trying orient myself using coordinates, Daggum deep drifter just nixed me. Right in the face. Turned around and Hello Goodbye. 

Okay. Thousand block run back and this time I remove the dirt block to recognize my emptied Tin vein where I was brutally disemboweled by the nightmare drifter no longer contained my items. I stopped at home base and grabbed a torch out of a torch holder.

And this is my first time loosing my goods in this game. Backpacks, bismuth bronze tools, Bismuth Lantern, longbow, and it's a good thing i emptied my inventory before attempting to explore the cave I had uncovered. Good thing I overdo everything. If only life were as simple as a survival game. Id be rich beyond compare. 

Instead I'm just a nobody that lost all their gear to the time limit. Now ive gotta come up with a mine deviling kit that gets left at the mouth of the shaft so when I inadvertently bight the dust again ill be able to see when I'm jumping back into the mantle of the world. Maybe a torch holder should sit at the mouth of all mines. At least some light would help in recovering my corpse. These are lessons learned. Me thinks. 

[Echo Weaver]

9 hours ago, OBAMFSpike said:

Now ive gotta come up with a mine deviling kit that gets left at the mouth of the shaft so when I inadvertently bight the dust again ill be able to see when I'm jumping back into the mantle of the world. Maybe a torch holder should sit at the mouth of all mines. At least some light would help in recovering my corpse. These are lessons learned. Me thinks. 

This is a really good idea.

I use Player Corpse with no timeout because this kind of stuff makes me crazy 

[OBAMFSpike]

10 hours ago, Echo Weaver said:

This is a really good idea.

I use Player Corpse with no timeout because this kind of stuff makes me crazy 

Don't you just love restocking inventory lost to circumstance. Holy smokes! Tier Four presents an entirely different style of spelunking, sheesh! XD

 

[LadyWYT]

15 hours ago, OBAMFSpike said:

Holy smokes! Tier Four presents an entirely different style of spelunking, sheesh! XD

Tier 4 monsters are why I will happily be a chicken play according to the lore and never venture too deep unless I absolutely have to. 

[Yerik]

Frustrating death:
Several months ago I joined the TOPS server, met new friends and joined the town of Dawnreach. I chose to progress myself without help as it has been a while since I had played the early game. I got a full set of tin bronze tools and was ready to go exploring for iron. I found a cave in town that had a translocator, out of curiosity I jumped right in. Then suddenly I was burning to death in lava. I went in the portal over and over again trying to get my stuff back, or at least try and plug the lava leak in the ceiling.. no luck. Gave up lost everything.

A few weeks later I decided to venture out to that location far away and fix the problem so no one else runs into it. I figured since it was below a lake, I could just dig down and the lava would turn to obsidian and problem solved. For some reason when I finally got down to the TL I was burning in water, lost everything again...

Both times I almost quit playing on TOPS, but I love the fact they don't shut down the server ever so my builds will live on forever keeps drawing me back despite my losses.

Ahhhh, good times.

[OBAMFSpike]

3 hours ago, Yerik said:

A few weeks later I decided to venture out to that location far away and fix the problem so no one else runs into it. I figured since it was below a lake, I could just dig down and the lava would turn to obsidian and problem solved. For some reason when I finally got down to the TL I was burning in water, lost everything again...

 

No good deed goes unpunished. But my curiosity has piqued and I can't help but wonder if you weren't in a column of boiling water that was in contact with your culprit. 

Just a hunch. XD

[OBAMFSpike]

5 hours ago, LadyWYT said:

Tier 4 monsters are why I will happily be a chicken play according to the lore and never venture too deep unless I absolutely have to. 

Ive found myself building corridors of dirt but it's even hard to break free and do a torch spurge. Chicken I be too to bock bock for another day. 

[Teh Pizza Lady]

Doors

Do blackguards know how to use them??

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No seriously. I started a new world with a friend... of course she's playing Blackguard. She always does.

And I'm always playing hunter because I like
shooting things                                                                                                           from over here.

So we decide that this time around we will divvy up the tasks. I will be responsible for food gathering, scouting, and exploration. She will be responsible for... ...home defense, mining, smithing, etc. No one decided who would build the house, I just kind of asked her to. So she built us a little dugout with a thatch roof. No door tho. I didn't understand why. Don't Blackguards know how to use doors? I fashioned a crude door because it was all I could make at the time and just got it set on its hinges, when WHAM BAM! She came crashing through, blowing the doors off its hinges.

I'm like, "DUDE... can I show you how to use a door?" I set the door back on its hinges and show her how to grab the handle, pull the door open and shut it behind her. So she grabs the handle and rips the door off its hinges again. 

I am beginning to think there is no hope for her....

[Teh Pizza Lady]

Also she ate all my food. Help.

[Yerik]

15 hours ago, OBAMFSpike said:

No good deed goes unpunished. But my curiosity has piqued and I can't help but wonder if you weren't in a column of boiling water that was in contact with your culprit. 

Just a hunch. XD

Boiling water... yes, I think you are correct. This makes a lot of sense.

[Echo Weaver]

16 hours ago, OBAMFSpike said:

No good deed goes unpunished. But my curiosity has piqued and I can't help but wonder if you weren't in a column of boiling water that was in contact with your culprit. 

I didn't know columns of boiling water were a thing. Lesson learned.

Of course, I haven't come in contact with any lava in VS either. It's a lot harder to come by than in that other game. 

[LadyWYT]

57 minutes ago, Echo Weaver said:

I didn't know columns of boiling water were a thing. Lesson learned.

Typically you find it in the hot springs--I'm not sure it spawns anywhere else naturally, unless you're using mods. 

 

59 minutes ago, Echo Weaver said:

Of course, I haven't come in contact with any lava in VS either. It's a lot harder to come by than in that other game. 

I've seen it a couple of times on the surface, and maybe once in a cave...and that's after a couple of updates and several many worlds. So it's pretty rare, at least on default settings.

 

8 hours ago, traugdor said:

Doors

Do blackguards know how to use them??

Well, yeah...you just give it a good swift kick and it opens. That's how doors work, right?................right?

[Yerik]

Can lava turn regular water into boiling water?
If so, that is exactly what happened.

[Teh Pizza Lady]

1 hour ago, Yerik said:

Can lava turn regular water into boiling water?
If so, that is exactly what happened.

literally boiled alive

what a way to go

[OBAMFSpike]

8 hours ago, LadyWYT said:

Typically you find it in the hot springs--I'm not sure it spawns anywhere else naturally, unless you're using mods. 

 

 

I only made an educated guess and have absolutely know knowledge of this matter. 

Is logical thinking permitted? I might be in hot water but I aint no frog. Kek  

eerrrrrrrr........

[OBAMFSpike]

5 hours ago, traugdor said:

literally boiled alive

what a way to go

Me thinks a swim in lava would be less painful. 

We both know the boiling will be much quicker. 

[Teh Pizza Lady]

2 hours ago, OBAMFSpike said:

Me thinks a swim in lava would be less painful. 

We both know the boiling will be much quicker. 

Can't be as painful as having straight lava diarrhea... 

[Vratislav]

16 hours ago, LadyWYT said:

Well, yeah...you just give it a good swift kick and it opens. That's how doors work, right?

I'd really like a mod that will make crude door broken whenever a blackguard tries to touch them.