Jump to content

Recommended Posts

Posted

GUYS! I FIGURE OUT WHAT THE CHARCOAL GNOMES ARE!

Turns out they are Blackguards. I had just finished filling a 3x2x2 charcoal pit with wood and setting to burn. It was probably an in-game hour away from finishing when my blackguard friend decided, for reasons I'll still not understand to build a wall right over the pit. I begged, pleaded, groveled at her feet. PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH THE PIT UNTIL IT IS FINISHED. I showed her where the boundary was. I said, "THIS FAR AND NO FURTHER."

She laughed and kept piling rocks to make a wall.

Hesitantly I went back to my meal prep. Spelt porridge with puffball and liberty bell mushrooms. It wasn't all that exciting, but I knew it would be fun later.

Then I heard the sound of fire crackling. why.jpg

I go back over to the charcoal pit just in time to see the blackguard placing dirt back down over it with a sheepish look on her face. THE DANGBLASTED BLACKGUARD DUG WHERE I TOLD HER NOT TO!!! >_< 

Charcoal: ruined
My time: wasted
My patience: thin
My desire for revenge: high

After we fixed everything and moved the pit FAR away from whatever ugly monstrosity she was building over there (probably a barracks for more of her charcoal gnome friends), I quietly told her dinner was ready in the cookpot. Then I scooped out the last of the good food, the red meat stew with turnips and onions, and waited.

Her reaction was perfect and watching her stagger around while the liberty bell in the porridge rang her bell was well worth it.

  • Haha 5
Posted

Just a question...

Why you no build an obvious charcoal pit with cobble or stone brick topped with glass?  o.O  
Them's are easier for the dumb blackguards to see than just a dirt pit.

Posted
18 hours ago, Maelstrom said:

Just a question...

Why you no build an obvious charcoal pit with cobble or stone brick topped with glass?  o.O  
Them's are easier for the dumb blackguards to see than just a dirt pit.

Didn't have glass. New world for testing and didn't have most things.

Posted (edited)

Take the Long Way Home

So a few worlds ago I was ready to make some steel but had no bauxite.  Or was it olivine?   meh. Doesn't matter.   So I was out running straight north attempting to find some olivine, or bauxite, I doesn't recall anymores.  But that doesn't matter.  I had packed sufficient supplies and equipment to handle pretty much anything I would encounter; some light armor, a sword, a crock or two of food, and standard gear of pick, axe and shovel with space left to take back enough bauxite.  Or was it olivine?  I can't remember and it doesn't matter anyways but then that nice little warning appeareded...

Quote

A heavy temporal storm is approaching.

Oh. Dear. Gawds!

I was a fair ways from home.   I had already slept through one night in my travels for some olivine.  Or bauxite?  no matter.  So I picked up and starts that long run home.  What's that?  Why wasn't I on an elk?   No elk in that world as there wasn't an RA in game yet.   So I runs.  And I runs and I runs somemores.  I jump over murder holes, around ponds, through forests, past wolves, swim through large lakes and keeps. on. running!  I runs through the rest of the day.  I pop my lantern in my off hand and runs on into the night.  Still managing to avoid the murder holes which slows my progress some.   But I keeps running in the hopes (faint and distant as they may be) of getting home before the storm hits.

And then it hits me.

Not some great idea.  No.  The storm you nitwit!  So there I am running over hill and dale feeling like the drunkest of sailors as the land makes it's best impression of the stormy seas from Deadliest Catch.  But I keeps running.   And running.   And running somemores.   

"Hi Bonnie!" I says as I scream past a surface drifter.   At least I'm pretty sure it was Bonnie, but it could have been Clyde.  Bonnie has this weird little snaggle rusted thing (I assume it's a tooth) at the bottom of his head where I assume his mouth would be, but I didn't have time to check for it.  Day begins to break and I think the storm is nearing it's end...  I hope.  At lesat it feels like it should be ending soon.   But I keep running coz at this point, stopping is only gonna be the death of me and while that is the quickest way home, I'm not too enthused about rebuilding my nutrtion and health afterwards.  

"Clyde!   Where's Bonnie?   He's back there a kilometer, I think.   Can't chat now, your cousins are murder tonight!"  I yells as I sail on by looking like the drunkest of sailors, I'm sure.  And I keep running for a few more hours to watch the sun rise as the storm fades just a few hundred short blocks from home.   

And no bauxite.
Or olivine. 

whichever one I was looking for. 

 

Whatever.  It doesn't matter at this point. 

Edited by Maelstrom
  • Haha 6
Posted

A Heavy Temporal Storm Is Approaching An Actual Pray To Jonas Heavy Temporal Storm Is Approaching

130 some hours into my world and this temporal storm decides to land not just one double-headed drifter into my main hall, but his friend the split-head shiver. The same hall I have my spawn point set to.

Cue me running for my life with Yakety Sax playing on repeat as I die, spawn, sprint, and die. The only saving grace is shaving away the health bars of these beasts little by little (and thanking my casual self for enabling keep your inventory on death) until the storm is over and I've slain them. I scour the various rooms and cellars to get rid of the stragglers, then ascend to the bar. Work like this deserves a few stiff drinks.

I don't recall hiring this man to pour the liquor.

2026-04-03_16-39-36.png

  • Haha 6
Posted

Posting this story by the recommendation of @williams_482

Wrath of the Cabinet God
I was recently on a server with a couple of friends and was excited to play around with the new cabinets being introduced in 1.22. I had made one to show to my friends and had gathered them in our smithy to display this feat of technology. To herald in our new-found wealth, I proudly state "Behold, your new god!" while placing the cabinet which was immediately followed by both of my friends games crashing. While initially one might think this a simple bug, twas the wrath of the cabinet god who had deemed us not worthy. We quickly appeased the deity by putting gears and gems in said cabinet and made burnt offerings.

Let this be a warning to all those who do not respect the one most veneered! They are not kind!

  • Haha 4
  • 2 weeks later...
Posted (edited)

I chased a deer into a hole.

It should have been simple. Deer goes in, I follow, I win. Instead it turned into one of those situations where the ground betrays everything you thought you knew about the game and you just go along with it because... well... what else can you do?

The deer vanished into what looked like a harmless dip, and I followed it straight into a cave that immediately stopped behaving like a cave and started behaving like an entrance fee to something deeper. Turns out the cave wasn't just a shallow walk into a subterranean maze. It wasn’t just a hole. It opened into a pit, and then further on another pit that opened into something that went down farther than it had any right to. Farther than I had any business investigating.

And in the walls there it was: hematite.

So I did what I always do when the world gives me something interesting and immediately stops explaining itself. I marked it on the map with a star and wrote: “DIG HERE TRUST ME.” I shared the location and told my friend over voice chat what I was doing and why and then left it alone, and got the heck out of dodge, because hunting without armor or bandages is difficult work.

And then the Blackguard showed up.

She saw the marker, ignored the cave entirely, and started digging nearby like she was trying to prove a point the ground had made in a past life. That turned into a completely separate cave system, and she immediately broke into a respectable coal deposit. Just like that. No drama. No deer. Just efficiency.

I bandaged myself up, ate a few bowls of food (thank you devs of Expanded Stomach mod) to replenish my nutrition bars for some extra bonus health and put the cave out of my mind. Eventually my friend says we're ready for iron. I remembered the cave, so we came back together later and actually looked at the original cave properly.

Turns out..........
.....the hematite I’d seen was the poor band. We started harvesting it anyway because it was still iron and would still smelt into iron blooms. After gathering a bit, I explored a bit further in the pit and found it: Rich hematite and a dome of halite beyond it, and sylvite embedded inside like the salt had decided it wanted to be complicated. I shook my head and decided I would be more useful exploring than mining. I looked up and saw sulfur near the ceiling, and on the way back out of the cave I found galena in the wall like the cave was just casually distributing every useful mineral it had in reach.

Then a sawblade locust spawned.

The blackguard didn’t even hesitate. Just quickly crafted a set of bronze lamellar armor and dove in and tore the locust apart like it was a broken tool.

“This is why you keep your blackguard fed so they can do this…”, she said. I didn't argue

We should have left after that, but we didn’t, because we found a translocator just casually sitting in the wall of the cave. I gathered all our temporal gears and powered it up and got dumped into another cave full of saltpeter. I shook my head and just... left. Too much was already riding on our shoulders and a careless cave dive without armor or any decent weapons just didn't sound sensible to me.

At that point the map already had olivine and bauxite marked for refractory bricks, so the whole thing had quietly turned into industry whether we agreed or not.

Then she ran a prospecting reading.

Ultra high aquifer, 25 permille. Poor halite, 17.78. Trace hematite, coal, galena, sphalerite, cinnabar, and just enough scattered sulfur, copper, and emerald to make it feel like the cave is hoarding everything it was supposed to give us one at a time.

She looked at it, looked at the cave network, and didn’t say anything for a while.

And I just kept thinking about the little red star on the map.

“DIG HERE TRUST ME.”

It still feels correct.

Oh and the deer? It got away. I never did find it.

image1.png.449fab7b44fce4bc24a91b3eb0f0ec0f.png

Edited by Teh Pizza Lady
  • Like 1
  • Haha 3
Posted
4 hours ago, Teh Pizza Lady said:

“DIG HERE TRUST ME.”

You forgot about the lead deposits near the translocator and the sulfur deposit on the ceiling.

What's even more ironic is that the good reading for hematite that I dug at had no hematite at all...unless it was buried near the mantle, which I couldn't quite reach since the shaft went straight into a cave system before that, and said caves were occupied. Though I guess since I broke my toy locust, I could go back to that cave and finish looking around. They just don't really build Jonas devices like they used to.

  • Like 1
  • Haha 1
Posted
4 hours ago, Teh Pizza Lady said:

I looked up and saw sulfur near the ceiling, and on the way back out of the cave I found galena in the wall like the cave was just casually distributing every useful mineral it had in reach.

 

20 minutes ago, LadyWYT said:

You forgot about the lead deposits near the translocator and the sulfur deposit on the ceiling.

No, I mentioned it....

  • Like 1
Posted
21 hours ago, Teh Pizza Lady said:

It wasn’t just a hole. It opened into a pit, and then further on another pit that opened into something that went down farther than it had any right to. Farther than I had any business investigating.

Now don't that sound familiar.   You didn't happen to find an elk corpse at the bottom did you?  Goes by the name Banzai.

  • Haha 3
Posted
21 hours ago, Teh Pizza Lady said:

Then a sawblade locust spawned.

WHY DO I HEAR SAW BLADES

Average day, was in need for some resin, and thought, huh I should bring over stuff for the translocator while I’m out grabbing resin, and see where it bring me, so I bring my mining gear, just incase asides torches, thinking it would just a quick in and out.

However, on my way, I noticed that one of resin trees on my way didn’t have any resin, thus where I was going, wouldn’t have any respawned resin, not wanting to waste my prep, only traveling 50 blocks from the base, decide to just go to a nearby cave which I know has copper, which I’ll need to make some black bronzes plate mail, so I don’t die to the teir 3 monsters when I get iron.

double however, I’m very lazy, and don’t bother putting away the translocator stuff, and don’t grab any torches. It was going fine as dandy, found some copper, little bit of bismuth, and saltpeter and more copper down a steep section. Sadly that other bit of copper was gaurded by some locust, and then a teir 3 drifter showed up, and I thought “I’d just come back later, let me just deal with theses guys rq so I can grab m- BZZZZT …what was that?” And then Mr. Sawblade showed up, didn’t know that existed until now, and I was running out of light to fight and I didn’t bring any torches to run, so my one chance to get out was to jump over everyone, grab my lantern, and do that again. Turned out how’d you expect, got 2 shotted and now that’s tomorrow problem. And as of today it is now tomorrow, wish me luck (should honestly be easy).

  • Haha 2
Posted
8 hours ago, Maelstrom said:

Now don't that sound familiar.   You didn't happen to find an elk corpse at the bottom did you?  Goes by the name Banzai.

No, I didn't make it to the bottom of the pit. I'll let you know if we get brave enough to digging that far.

Posted
8 hours ago, Maelstrom said:

Now don't that sound familiar.   You didn't happen to find an elk corpse at the bottom did you?  Goes by the name Banzai.

 

1 minute ago, Teh Pizza Lady said:

No, I didn't make it to the bottom of the pit. I'll let you know if we get brave enough to digging that far.

I mean...I know a way to "help" investigate the pit...and by that I may or may not mean pushing the hunter in...

  • Haha 1
Posted
1 hour ago, LadyWYT said:

I mean...I know a way to "help" investigate the pit...and by that I may or may not mean pushing the hunter in...

google.com "how to report a post on the Vintage Story forums for hate speech"

  • Haha 2
Posted (edited)
18 hours ago, LadyWYT said:

I mean...I know a way to "help" investigate the pit...and by that I may or may not mean pushing the hunter in...

Also

16 hours ago, Teh Pizza Lady said:

google.com "how to report a post on the Vintage Story forums for hate speech"

 

Now, now girls.   Do I have to get the Happy Cooperation Shirt out for you two?

Edited by Maelstrom
  • Haha 2
Posted
18 hours ago, Vratislav said:

It did not compensate? 😀

no, it made it WORSE... and I have a pretty high render distance, so everything in the distance was nearly folding over on itself, I couldn't see straight. Where I was trying to look was that dark spot in the sky.

  • Haha 2
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.