What's Your Humorous Story?

[Thorfinn]

Sweet. Did you time the jump right?

[Maelstrom]

Consider that I was unexpectedly evicted from my mountaintop smithy, I didn't exactly get a chance to start a clock.  It felt like forever.  It's about a 70 block drop and killed me.  I've got a screenshot of the death marker.

Edited March 15, 2025 by Maelstrom

[Thorfinn]

With a little practice, you can Bugs Bunny falls like that. If it's far enough to be lethal, I can generally get my mouselook facing the right direction. Once I realized that, all those holes that litter the landscape became a lot less worrisome.

[EDIT]

I still don't do it deliberately. I aspire to be able to toss a torch to the bottom of a pit, jump down to explore, then nerdpole or ladder my way back out, but, permadeath...

Edited March 15, 2025 by Thorfinn

[Thorfinn]

Hey, speaking of which, I wonder if you could use that "feature" you talked about earlier to make that less of a timing issue. If you had a ladder in hand, could you hold down R-Click while facing straight down so it would get the ladder section installed in time to take no damage?

Edited March 15, 2025 by Thorfinn

[LadyWYT]

9 minutes ago, Thorfinn said:

Hey, speaking of which, I wonder if you could use that "feature" you talked about earlier to do make that less of a timing issue. If you had a ladder in hand, could you hold down R-Click so it would get the ladder section installed in time to take no damage?

I'm guessing that you probably could, with enough practice. The other block game has a similar concept of avoiding fall damage using well-timed water buckets.

[Teh Pizza Lady]

he probably doesn't think he did anything wrong either.

[Maelstrom]

Darn sheep was on my porch while I was building the doorposts and rammed me in the butt, launching me to my doom.

[TheMadGod]

Was annoyed about falling into hidden holes in the forest ALL the time (because being distracted)...so I decided to remove all trees from a huge field of chert gravel where i would see those holes easier and not fall down. There were two or so left, i went to one of them, chopped them down and the falling tree created an at least 30 blocks long and 10 blocks wide sinkhole, me falling 10 blocks+ down and nearly dying. But I refuse to turn off physics.  

[Maelstrom]

8 hours ago, TheMadGod said:

But I refuse to turn off physics.  

Same.  In fact after my earlier story about the pathway on sand, I turned dirt physics on.

[Maelstrom]

 

But Clyde came back, the very next day...

 

Clyde wants his job back.  But being fired for cause makes him unemployable for life.

And he brought his deadbeat, drunken brother, Bonnie as a reference.  It did NOT help his case.

 

[Maelstrom]

CLYDE?!  Is that you?

Clyde and his brother Bonnie (not pictured) showed up to help me mine some copper.  Considering their work ethic from previous encounters they are definitely NOT allowed in the mines!  

 

Here's the beginning of the mine, about 2,100 blocks from my home.  Clyde was waiting for me when I emerged with a full inventory of copper.  Most of the deposit was poor quality, unfortunately.

 

[LadyWYT]

Where Was My Spawn Point Again?

Medium temporal storm rolls around; no big deal, I've got iron armor and plenty of supplies. What I failed to account for was the nightmare shivers. The first wasn't so bad, but the second proved a bit too much to handle, so I ran into the forge area and slammed the door behind me. Unfortunately, I wasn't fast enough, because the nightmare followed me inside. Okay, no big deal, I'll just respawn in my bedroom then and grab some healing supplies before returning to the forge and dealing with it. It would have been a great plan, except for one little detail...

My respawn point wasn't in my bedroom, it was in the forge! Luckily the nightmare was damaged enough that a couple of whacks killed it, but it was certainly more excitement than I had bargained for!

[HalfAxd]

I thought I'd found a bug... I kept losing a tool rack in my smithy and gifted back my hammer and tongs a couple times...

What the heck... is it on the bug list?  Nope... maybe I should write it up...  (I didn't get that far)

Finally came to realize one of my pit kilns was a block over at ground level encased in cobble stone...

I'd been burning my own tool rack the entire time!!!

Doh!

 

[Varcii]

I was exploring a cave with my friend looking for iron. He was just out of the range of my torch and didn't have one himself so I was only able to see his nametag as he plummeted what must've been at least 50 blocks down, though the fall itself somehow didn't kill him the pit with many shivers and bowtorn however, did. To the time of writing this he still has not gotten his things back, maybe one day.

[Big Bad]

On 1/28/2025 at 1:09 PM, Maelstrom said:

I'll assume the four legged thing with them was their mount

The concept of a shiver-jockey is equally humorous and horrifying.

[Dilan Rona]

getting the cr(& scared out of me near some ruins when a shiver deep shiver decided to jump from a tower and slay me where I stood. And it was a fresh map. KO in the first 2 minutes of the map.

[LadyWYT]

Who Needs a Map!

Recently started a new world with my friend and we decided to try to find the Resonance Archive without the map. What could go wrong, right? Time isn't a big deal since we're taking this world slow and not worrying about pushing progress, though we haven't been slowpokes either.

Well, it turns out the ONE time we decide to try this kind of adventure, the Archive entrance manages to spawn entirely underground! So we never would have found it with the map, let alone without one. The only reason we ended up finding it is that friend managed to glitch through the mountain and spotted the structure, so he knew he was in the right spot. At least we know where it is now, and here's to hoping the rest of the adventure goes smoothly!

[TheSentient0ne]

I've been playing together with my good friend @NaluTheMermaidPrince for quite some time now. I, being very new to the game myself but having watched a fair amount of tutorials, introduced her to the game. Right after starting our game, I introduced her to panning, and we spent a few of those early nights panning away. Well, there were also a few ruins nearby with some coveted (well, coveted by me) bony soil. I was very excited, thinking about all the goodies we could get. And so we begin panning our humble assortment of bony soil.

My enthusiasm is high, my inventory slowly filled with bones and the odd nugget of silver or gold. Then, next to me, I hear "I got some jewelry". I turn around to see my friend flaunting a bronze armlet. Wow!! I didn't even know you could find jewelry in here!! I bet its only a matter of time until I get something cool as well!!! Better keep going! I think to myself.

Well, I had no such luck that night, but I was still optimistic. Fast forward and it must have been, what, the next day? Our memory is a bit rusty as these days are long past, but we both agree it can't have been very long after. We are once more panning (something it is becoming clear I enjoy doing more so than my friend) and once more, she goes "hey check out what I got". I turn around, and low and behold, lying there on her chest, glittering and shining....is a bronze gem necklace. Well, that is odd - but if she got two pieces of jewelry this fast, they can't be that rare, can they?

Now, at this point, we had exhausted our supply of bony soil, and soon we were so consumed with other tasks (such as my friends ever-growing berry obsession, but that is a story for another day...) that we simply ceased devoting our time to it. But, every now and again, I couldn't help but think about those beautiful pieces of jewelry. And so, one day, after many a night of wondering, I consulted the panning drop table on the wiki. And lo and behold, what do I see?

A drop chance of 1 in 625 for the bronze armlet.

Well, that's much rarer than I thought, but no need to give up hope right? Hold on, what about that necklace? "Hey Nalu, what's your jewelry called?" I ask, unaware of the despair about to befall me, as I see....a 1 in 2500 drop chance. Now, how she managed to get not just the bronze armlet, but also the gem necklace, in what could at most have been a stack and a half of bony soil divided to both of us, I will never understand.

Now, a smarter seraph would have given up at this point. Perhaps an even smarter seraph would have plundered far and wide for as much bony soil as they could find. As it happens, I am neither, and so I spent my days tending the animals, the windmill, the forge, watching the ever-growing assortment of berries... And as life would have it, it was this obsession of Nalu's that would make my dreams come true. You see, she had a great love for exploring, and often went out looking for berry bushes, and later, for sea shells to add to our collection. So it happened that she came upon the odd ruin or two, and given she had the carrying capacity, she would bring me bony soil from her travels. It wasn't very much still, mind you, 10 or so blocks each time. But I appreciated it greatly as my hunt for treasure continued.

And last night, in July of our second year, most likely over a year after she had made those faithful discoveries (i had grown a beard during that time)....I finally found it. Panning away during the night, I looked upon my spoils to see a...silver diadem. I finished up the bony soil (it had only been 21 blocks) and went to show her the spoils.

How did we celebrate, you ask? Well, by looking through the handbook at what kind of other jewelry might be available for us to obtain. I've set my eyes on the gold waist chain myself, but somehow I feel like this is only the beginning.

After all, you know how the saying goes: Dress for the job you want, not the job you have. Or, alternatively, and certainly true here: If you've got it, flaunt it.

Edited May 1, 2025 by TheSentient0ne

[Daev]

I've now got around 60~ or so hours in game and my current world is 40 of those hours after a few test worlds to get my feet wet.   I'm currently in the copper age looking for bismuth to make bronze and I have acquired my first goat!  Got a nice pen and some troughs in a separate area to hopefully lure another one.  Turns out the goat was acting as a pretty good lure itself, but not for goats, rather it's attracted a brown bear and I normally avoid combat like the plague because I'm a frail Malefactor who would chip from a distance HOWEVER... I've finally become consistent enough to take on wolves with a spear and shield using a switch up of melee hit and runs followed up by a sling and this new confidence very quickly became overconfidence.  Blinded by arrogance and the idea to cheese the bear with towers and ladders I dealt decent damage at first, however the bear soon started running away, whether due to plentiful prey not able to escape it or because it was being damaged by a technologically and vertically superior foe I know not..... Inevitably I had to come down to track it and retrieve munitions and like anybody but myself could have guessed the bear CAME BACK AND MAULED ME IMMEDIATELY.  He WAS out of sight, I presumed beyond the range of aggression, I was wrong and not once but three times...  Did I have a temporal gear yet? Nay.  Did I use commands? YES BECAUSE THIS WAS PERSONAL.  I killed it fairly (after it got stuck in a natural ditch) but I was not wasting time to traverse from world spawn to where my base was.  Lesson learned, don't try to outrun bears and carry more than five spears. 

[Silrana]

A tiny story.  I respawned at the top of a huge cliff, and before I knew what was happening a goat butted me off.  I fell a long way, hoping on the way down I spawned in a better place.

[Maelstrom]

Indeed.  Short but sweet.  And not the typical, wolf ate me when I spawned story.  

[achianese]

I just started a new world with the mod - Fauna of the Stone Age: Elephantidae.  I'm busy minding my own business, I can hear the elephants in the distance but I'm more interested in getting some black currants.  I'm already thinking of getting some reeds to make a basket.    I look up just in time to see a baby elephant running by me trumpeting his little cute trunk.  The moment was like "Wow!  now that's cute... Wait...  That's a baby...Where is the Moth..?(CRUNCH).     I was trampled by mama mid sentence.   Never saw it coming.  

[LadyWYT]

9 hours ago, achianese said:

I look up just in time to see a baby elephant running by me trumpeting his little cute trunk.

Fun fact--you can pet the baby elephants regardless of their generation. You do have to watch out for the mothers though, as the babies rarely stray far.

[Maelstrom]

Elks like to go Spelunking?

So I took my trusty mount Banzai to find the least difficult way to the Lazaret.  Along the way I find more traders, swim some lakes (finding my second miniscule deposit of blue clay in this world) and generally having a pretty good go of it. While trying to make my way to a trader through some very abrupt terrain terrain we happen to slip down a death hole and land about 10 blocks down.  "Well, bugger me!" I thinks to myself, "THIS is a fine mess you dun got us into there Banzai!"  He looks at me askance and so I dismount to better assess the situmatation and figure out how to get back up to the surface.  Did I mention it's the middle of the night in Sept?  No?  Well.  It is. 

You think you know where this is going don't you? 
You're probably thinking, "Ooooohhhh...  This ain't gonna end well."  Well, you're partly right.

Suddenly I hear Banzai bugle and see the light of his lantern YOLOing it's way down the death hole, about 20 blocks down is a nice little spot where the death hole splits into three different paths deeper into the bowels of the earth and I watch as that nice glowing lantern pick one and keep on going at impressive speed.  In the fourth second after dismounting I get plugged by a bowtorn.  Welp, that explains Banzai's sudden desire to... well... BANZAAAAAAAIIIII down this here cave.  So I gives chase to the misguided mount cave diving his way to the center of the earth and finally find him standing on a nice patch of basalt and surrounded by a wonderful collection of death drifters of all shapes, sizes and lethality.  I quickly jump into the saddle to save our lives but there is no easy way up, even with Banzai's better climbing abilities.  I find the safest place possible to start digging my way up and the friendly neighborhood death bowtorns decide they'll help with the digging.  Only their aim ain't so good and they keep hitting me and poor Banzai.  We scream our outrage at their horrible help when I notice that poor Banzai is mortally wounded.  I hop off to administer some first aid with the linen horsetail poultices I brought with me in a rushed attempt to patch him up but before I can get more than one poultice on him the death drifters caught up to their bowtorn brethren and done did poor Banzai in. I'm proud of my steel chain armor.  As a hunter it gives great protection while not impeding my archery skill that much, but alas; it was not up to the task and I was given the royal beat down just as unceremoniously as Banzai.

Ok.  You were mostly right.  I'm not playing spectator mode in this world.

Welp.  Off to the traders to milk their rusty gears from them so I can get a new mount.  I'll have to be a bit more careful about naming my next loyal steed.  I think Banzai took his name a weeeee bit too seriously.

Edited May 21, 2025 by Maelstrom

[LadyWYT]

25 minutes ago, Maelstrom said:

Welp.  Off to the traders to milk their rusty gears from them so I can get a new mount.  I'll have to be a bit more careful about naming my next loyal steed.  I think Banzai took his name a weeeee bit too seriously.

Don't forget that you can call your elk to you with the flute, as long as they are wearing a medallion. If they can't path to you, they'll teleport. Can save you trouble, potentially, if there is another incident.